so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
