I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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