I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
