I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
