It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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