you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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