i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
