windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
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