mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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