If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
