keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
We're too hungover to prance.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
