i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
