I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
