tell your sister to shave her snatch
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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