I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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