Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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