I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
