the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
