is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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