Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
