I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Bring me that man meat
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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