don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
