Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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