Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
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Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
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I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm always down for nudity.
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