i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
