he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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