dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
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Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
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Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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