Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
birth control should be required to get into college
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
