I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
