Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
