They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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