Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
This is classic penis vs brain.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
