Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
i think i just lost a toe
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
