I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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