There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
