if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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