Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
