I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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