why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
