I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
God, I missed his penis.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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