I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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