I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
