I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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