just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
