Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
