Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
