it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
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I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
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We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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