If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
