The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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