Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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