He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize