I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
