um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
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I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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