I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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