How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
