clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
please come you make the beer taste better
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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