one might say we're banned from that church
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
