I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
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