And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize