I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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