Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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